Welcome to the latest installment in VolunteerSpot's blog series Views on Back-to-School! VolunteerSpot
is honored to be featuring guest posts from our favorite bloggers about
what back-to-school means for them. Please welcome Shara Lawrence-Weiss, the owner of Mommy Perks, a company that offers PR and advertising opportunities and expertise to small businesses. Today, Shara discusses how volunteering at your child's school is a commitment that varies with the different stages of your life, but no matter how many kids you have or how many hours you work, any contribution makes a difference.
Thanks Shara!
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Classroom Volunteering:
The Evolution of the Judgmental Mother
The role of mothers, in the classroom, changes over the
years. What a single mother can offer may well differ from what a stay-at-home
mom can provide. What the mother of one can give will differ from what a mother
of six can share. In years past I was involved with a charter school that
required 80+ hours a year in volunteer service from each parent. Currently my
son attends a public school that has no volunteer requirements at all. Each mother’s
life and situation are different and can evolve over time, as circumstances
change.
Here’s my story…
The awfully
judgmental mom:
When my eldest son attended a charter school, each parent had to sign a waiver agreeing to 80+ hours per year of volunteer time. Every few days I’d show up, in between college courses, working as a nanny and doing homework – to give my time in the classroom. I’d host classroom parties, chaperone field trips, bake cookies or cupcakes, grade papers, tutor students, teach Art Masterpiece and more. All while being a single mother. When I found out that other mothers were not volunteering I’ll be honest – I was pissed. “Are they for REAL? I’m a freak’n single mom, working full time, attending school full time on scholarships, I grocery shop in the middle of the night when my son is at his dad’s house and I’m bloody tired. Yet here I am, in between classes and homework and work, making sure my kid knows that I want to help out. That I’m honoring my commitment. Those other moms suck.”
The calmer, more
emotionally stable mom:
After I got remarried, our daughter came along right away. I was working at a preschool by this point and wasn’t able to put as many volunteer hours into my son’s school. I had to be at work by 7am and didn’t finish classroom clean-up until noon. By that point I was tired and hungry. I wobbled to my car, drove the 30 minutes home and ate something. I looked at the clock and saw that it was darn near time to get my son. I drove the 30 minutes to pick him up, headed back, finished my homework and then went to night school. Holy cow I was tired. And fat. And irritable. And HOT (the Phoenix Valley is a killer). I told my son’s teacher that I’d volunteer as often as I could but things would need to slump off a bit. I did continue to tutor kids in reading but that was about the extent of my dedication that year. I don’t think I baked more than twice. “Okay – so maybe some of the other mothers had it rough last year, too. Maybe they were pregnant or had to work full time or had other kids to take care of. Fine. Maybe they don’t suck so bad after-all.”
The “What? What day
is it? I was supposed to do WHAT?” mom:
I now have three children: 11, 3.5 and 2. Sometimes I remember what day it is but I’ll be honest – there are days when I look at my husband and ask, “How old am I again?” or “Did you hear that message from the school? Did you know it’s picture day today? Did he shower this morning? Crud – I hope so.” Just the other day I was told that there were only 4 families in the school who hadn’t turned in their start-of-the-year student info packets. Yeah – our family was one of them. Since moving to a smaller town and adding one more kiddo to our family, some of the school details have become a bit fuzzy. Open house night, band night, holiday concerts and classroom activities – we do manage to show up to just about everything but only by the grace of God. The phone will ring with a message from the school, reminding us, or a fellow student will see us at Walmart and say, “Hey! See you at the school tonight!” My husband and I look at each other and sigh: “We are so NOT winning parents of the year.” Between diapers and naps and errands and meals and running three businesses from home and fixing the car and getting the oil changed and taking the van to get fixed after Elk have hurled themselves into our bumper for the third time in one month…between helping with town charity events and answering the phone and taking out the trash and bathing the children and going for walks or taking the kids to the swings or riding bikes or baking cookies or…you get my point. Classroom volunteering isn’t quite so easy now, especially when our sitter is 13 years old and attends school and sports for much of the day. We utilize her services but two hours a day (if she shows up).
Closing thoughts:
It’s not easy to get into the classroom to help. In any situation. Over the years I think the number one lesson I’ve learned is this: Do what you can – when you can. If you can enter the classroom 80+ hours a year to help out, terrific! If you can tutor one hour a week, wonderful. If you can grade papers, the teacher will appreciate it. If you can collect Box Tops and Campbell’s Soup Labels, collect the heck out of those things. If you can answer phones or file or bake or run an errand for the school – great. Show up for the parent/teacher conferences, even if you can’t volunteer much. Ask the teacher what you can do, from home, to show him/her that you care, even if you are not able to enter the classroom mid-week to help. If your child sees that you are trying, at whatever stage you’re in, that will make a difference; I promise you. We can’t all volunteer at the same time, in the same way or in the same capacity.
If we all do at least a little, however, that will surely add up to a lot.
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Shara Lawrence-Weiss is the owner of Mommy Perks, Kids
Perks, Personal Child Stories and Early Childhood News & Resources. She
runs her businesses from home and is actively involved in local charity work
helping children and seniors. She is the mother of three and the wife of one.